Solo, Not Lonely: Navigating Loneliness While Traveling

As a solo female traveler, I often get asked about loneliness. Many people are so curious about this pretty valid topic. I guess I never thought about it as much in the beginning mainly because I was living alone for so many years before I started solo traveling.

I figured it would probably be the same. But I realize there is a real fear of traveling alone regardless if you’ve lived alone. So I wanted to write about my overall thoughts on this topic and provide some helpful perspectives that help me overcome loneliness while traveling solo.

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Being Comfortable Alone Is Necessary

The reality is that being comfortable alone is necessary in order to have a positive solo travel experience. I realize this is calling out the obvious, and you might be hoping for some magical answer for this but there are steps you can take to begin feeling comfortable being alone.

Before I started traveling, I lived alone for five years and I realized that I did not actually do a lot of things on my own. Meaning, that any time I wanted to go watch a movie or go out to eat, I would still call a friend to come with me. This is when I began to realize I was dependent on the company of others.

So, I started to work on myself and pushed myself to go out to eat alone. I went to the movie theaters alone. I started going on long walks and to parks alone. This allowed me to get really comfortable with being utterly alone and being seen alone.

At first, it felt awkward. But over time, something shifted—I began to enjoy the time to myself and my own company. This deeper journey ties into self-talk, which I won’t delve into here, but it’s worth noting that positive internal dialogue can make this alone time enriching and introspective.

If you practice pushing yourself out of your comfort zone at home before traveling solo, it will feel much easier when you’re out exploring.

I also want to clarify: being alone at home while watching your favorite TV drama or taking a break from kids isn’t the same. The kind of solitude I’m referring to involves being present in your mind without external distractions.

It’s like working and then taking a break. You aren’t doing much on that break besides resting your brain or maybe watching things on your phone to bypass the time.

I hope I am getting my point across in the intention behind this versus just needing a break.

The point of traveling is to explore and not be home so this is where I encourage you to get comfortable within your own mind and not use external sources to preoccupy your mind. There’s a big difference between being alone in these two ways.

Venice, Italy

When You’re Comfortable Being Alone, Traveling Solo Becomes Enjoyable

Because I’m comfortable doing things alone, traveling to new places is easier. I don’t feel lonely while exploring; it’s almost as if the new places become my companions.

Picture you are meeting someone new for the first time and getting to know them as a friend. But in this situation, instead of talking with them to learn more about them you are instead eating new food to learn new tastes, seeing new architecture, learning about new culture and history on your own time.

When my mind is occupied with the novelty and beauty of a new destination, I rarely notice that I’m alone. Meeting new people feels like an added bonus rather than a necessity.

I bring this up because I’ve encountered solo travelers who still depend heavily on others to enjoy their experience. If you’ve ever traveled with anyone before then you’d likely know that people prioritize different things. This kind of dependency can limit your freedom and make traveling less enjoyable.

By practicing being comfortable alone, you’ll avoid the need for constant companionship and won’t miss out on the experiences you truly want.

When there is downtime and you are wanting to fill in time, remember that this is an opportunity to do things that you’ve been wanting to do. You can still watch that movie or read that book. Or listen to that podcast you’ve been interested in for a while.

One tip I love: If it feels safe, put in your earbuds and play music while exploring. Music can set the mood and help keep you present for your solo adventures, whether you’re strolling through city streets or visiting a famous landmark.

Madeira, Portugal

Let’s Talk About How to Actually Meet People

Ok, I have to state the obvious which is that meeting new people definitely enhances your travel experiences if you are open enough to embrace it! Most of the people I’ve met in places have typically been locals.

Note that I said if you are open enough to embrace it. Keep in mind that you are traveling to a whole new country and your views, perspectives and way of doing things could be very different than the person you are speaking with.

This is why I stress the importance of being open-minded and open-hearted. Because people can feel when you aren’t being genuine.

I think it’s so much easier to make friends when you are simply open to hearing the other person’s stories, opinions, and general thoughts. This not only builds a true bond but it also teaches you a thing or two.

As one person, it’s impossible to experience every possible outcome in one lifetime. So listening to others and their experiences gives you insight into “what could that be like” or “what experiences did they have to shape them to be this way.”

There are many different types of travelers. Some prioritize meeting locals and others enjoy meeting other travelers like themselves. For me, immersing myself in the culture and community of the places I visit is a priority.

Learning about both the good and the bad allows me to form deeper connections with locals. Things are not always black and white and understanding the gray area amongst a culture and community helps you develop a genuine connection with others.

There are also some apps that I use to help me meet people. Facebook has become quite popular for Facebook Groups. Before I go to a new city, sometimes I will check to see if there is a good Facebook Group for it.

This is helpful in many ways. You can see some are very active and have several members. If there are expats or many other tourists in the group, people post questions and give lots of good tips! Things you normally wouldn’t be able to simply google.

Sometimes I’ll post in the groups should it be fitting that I am arriving and would like to meet up with people to explore with.

Another app that I use is Bumble BFF. I have met amazing women from this app. People who I am still in touch with from time to time until this day. Some I have even seen more than once in another part of the world.

I would have to say that my favorite app is Couchsurfing. Many people think this app is just for people who need a couch to sleep on. But they have a hangouts feature that I have used in every country where there are other Couchsurfers available to meet and just hang out.

Some other suggestions would be to stay or visit hostels. This is not something I personally do but I’ve met many other avid travelers who do this. Because it’s easier to meet people who are open and looking for friendship at hostels.

Hostels have many travelers especially younger travelers so they usually organize events and have lots of great information about the local area of tourist things to do.

Patagonia, Chile

The Reality Is That You Will Feel Lonely, Sometimes…

Feeling lonely is a normal human emotion that comes and goes just like feeling happy. There will be times when you will miss your best friends and family.

Sometimes you will wish to be surrounded by those who already know you and you don’t have to get to know all over again for the first time.

But with technology nowadays, it’s easy to connect with the people that I am close with. We schedule video calls from time to time and message regularly.

Although there are times that I would just like to see my best friends, ultimately this experience I am having is invaluable and I know the people who love me will continue to love me whether or not they see me in person.

Getting to know new people from all over the world has not only expedited my growth but taught me so much about myself and given me new perspectives that I think would’ve been hard for me to gather on my own living in the same city and being around people who are similar to myself.

And if I’m being honest with myself, there were many times that I felt lonely back home in the US. You can feel lonely being surrounded by people who love and care about you simply because people do not always understand you. Nor will they always know everything going on with you.

The point I am trying to make is that the feeling of loneliness shows up in different ways. It’s important that we acknowledge that traveling and doing things alone isn’t any different than the other feelings of loneliness. But we still work through them and live our life.

We go through ebbs and flows in life. Learning how to handle your loneliness in a positive manner enriches your life in so many ways. I see this as a necessary skill regardless of whether you are traveling or not.

Sometimes when I am feeling lonely, I look at it as an opportunity to work on myself more while allowing myself to acknowledge that I am missing some sort of companionship or friendship in that moment.

Cappadoccia, Turkey

Embrace Loneliness Positively

In the end, everything is about perspective and how you choose to look at things. You can view loneliness as a heavy burden and feel sorry for yourself, or you can acknowledge, “I’m feeling lonely,” and ask, “What am I going to do about it?”

In moments of loneliness, I would take myself out and treat myself. Maybe it’s watching a movie in the theater alone or exploring a place I’ve been curious about but haven’t visited yet. This isn’t something I started while traveling—it’s something I practiced back at home and continue to do wherever I go.

It’s completely normal to fear being alone. Many of us feel this fear even in the comfort of our own homes. The key is to push through that fear and shift your perspective on being alone. The more you go out into the world, the more you’ll realize that loneliness is just another emotion—one that you can manage, like sadness or happiness.

If you’re feeling lonely, I encourage you to turn inward rather than looking for external distractions. That feeling of loneliness stems from within, and that’s where you’ll find the tools to resolve it.

For example, imagine eating alone at a restaurant and feeling awkward because you’re by yourself. Instead of focusing on the discomfort, change your mindset. Embrace that moment with a positive attitude, and you’ll discover that loneliness isn’t as overwhelming as it might seem.

By reframing your thoughts and addressing the root of those feelings, you can transform loneliness into an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.